


Relapse

by Eien_Ni



Series: Demons from the Past [1]
Category: Guardians of Childhood - William Joyce, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Hot Dad, M/M, References to Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eien_Ni/pseuds/Eien_Ni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relapse - to fall or slip back into a former state, practice, or vice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relapse

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Linddzz's short drabble](http://linddzz.tumblr.com/post/62220541111/kozmotis-goes-enraged-to-pick-up-seraphina-who-sneaked)!

Friday was normally a good day for Jack. It was the beginning of the weekend, and after his shift at work in the morning, he was off for the next few days. But when he found out that the milk had gone sour, the bread was moldy, and his truck refused to start for a good ten minutes, he knew that it was going to turn out to be a shitty day.  
_____

At quarter to noon, the bell above the door jingled to announce the arrival of a customer. Jack looked up from shrugging his coat on. It was his turn to get the food they’d ordered, but he had a minute to spare.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Jack smiled at the woman who stopped in front of the desk.

“You work here?” she asked, as though surprised.

“Uh.” Looking at her and then at the desk between them, Jack wondered if she wanted a reply. “Yes, I do. How can I help you?”

“Is Nikolai in today?”

“Uh, yeah, he is, but he’s busy with inspections today. I can help with whatever you need.” Jack began typing on the computer, bringing up different programs that he might need.

“I really would prefer to speak to Nikolai, though. Or anyone else other than you,” the lady sniffed.

Jack stopped typing and looked over at her, shock evident on his face. “Excuse me?”

“What with all of your tattoos and piercings, I’m surprised that you managed to find a job at an upstanding mechanic shop like this.”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed, but Nikolai has tattoos, too,” Jack said slowly.

“But he is an upstanding person, whereas you look like someone who has just been to a party. You can hardly hope to gain a nice, steady job like this.”

“I have a job. And oh, my God. Enough with the tattoos and the piercings. Just fuck off already,” Jack growled.

The woman gasped. “I don’t appreciate you talking to me with that kind of language. Just what kind of employee are you?”

“The kind that doesn’t like to take shit from people.”

“Jack!” Nikolai’s voice boomed through the room, and Jack nearly cringed, but forced himself to remain unfazed. “That is not how we are treating customers.” He frowned at Jack, eyebrows lowered as he fixed a disappointed look on him.

“But she -”

Nikolai held up a hand. “I am not wanting to hear your excuses.”

“She insulted me, Nikolai, and you expect me to just grit my teeth and take it?” Jack fumed.

“Yes, because she is customer,” he replied before turning to the woman. “Apologies for his behavior. I will be with you in minute.” Grabbing Jack by the arm, he dragged him into the office and closed the door. “Jack -”

“No, you are not going to lecture me for standing up for myself. I am sick and tired of people assuming that just because I have all these piercings and tattoos that I’m some kind of delinquent.”

“You are, Jack.”

“No, I’m not! I’ve...changed. I’m different now,” Jack protested. “Being with Kozmotis has… Well…” he stammered, drawing in a deep breath. He had never admitted this to himself, let alone anyone else.

“You cursed in front of nice lady. That proved that you do not care for manners, Jack,” Nikolai said firmly.

Jack gaped. “You’re standing up for her? I don’t believe this! Oh, I guess it’s true what they say then, isn’t it? The customer is always right? Is that what you’re hinting at?”

“Jack, go home.”

Interrupted mid-rant, Jack stared. “What? Are you firing me?”

“No, I am not. I am telling you go home before I do,” Nikolai said. “Take the rest of the day off, and come back Monday.”

Jack gave a huff of disbelief before turning abruptly on his heel and heading for the door. “I’m done with this shit,” he growled over his shoulder. The door slamming behind him punctuated his words.  
_____

Jack stood in line at the convenience store, hands shoved in his pockets, a scowl etched onto his face. After leaving work, he’d gone to smoke, but discovered that he had apparently smoked the last one without realizing it. He tapped his foot impatiently, breathed out a frustrated sigh. He just wanted his damn cigarettes, the nicotine flooding through him.

Finally, it was his turn, and he asked for his favorite brand.

“That’s $9.37,” the clerk said.

Jack pulled out his wallet and withdrew some money. But when he counted it out, he found only three dollars there. He blinked. There had been at least thirty dollars there before he’d left for work. A slip of paper fluttered to the ground. He grabbed it, apologizing to the person behind him, and quickly scanned it.

_“Jack, Tia’s mom is taking us shopping after school. Dad forgot to give me some extra money, so I’m borrowing some of yours. I’ll pay you back soon! - Seraphina.”_

He groaned. Of course. Now he didn’t have enough to pay for his cigarettes, and dammit, he needed them after the morning he’d had.

“If you’re not buying anything,” the cashier began with a pointed look, “could you please step aside so I can take care of the next person?”

Jack scowled and stepped back, leaving the cigarettes on the counter. He fumbled for his phone as he walked outside, clicking through the contacts to find Sera’s number. Once outside, he began an angry text to her, telling her that it was not okay that she took his money without asking and sent another one to Kozmotis, explaining the situation and asking him to talk to Sera about the importance of not taking other people’s hard-earned money.

By the time he put his phone away, his anger had mostly subsided, and he scrubbed his hand through his hair, messing up the bleached strands. He shouldn’t have gotten up that morning. He should have just stayed in bed and called off work.

“Hey, Jack,” a female voice called out. “Figured you might want these.”

Spinning around, he was barely able to catch something heading for his face. It was a pack of cigarettes. Confused, he glanced up at the girl. “Who are you?”

“I’m hurt that you don’t remember me,” she said with a pout, then laughed. “Although I can’t say that I’m surprised. You did party hard whenever we were together.”

Jack squinted and took in the short black hair with blue tips, the mischievous smirk, and the brown eyes framed with eyeliner. “Alexa?” he asked dubiously.

“Yup! And you remember those two, right?” She pointed to two guys leaning against a yellow convertible that he had been too absorbed in his phone to notice before.

The blond one raised a hand. “Drew. And that’s Hayden.” He tilted his head towards the dark-haired guy, who gave a leering grin.

Jack didn’t recognize Drew, but when he looked at Hayden, vague memories of hot breath laced with alcohol, wandering hands, and _‘Wait, stop, what are you doing?’_ rose to the forefront of his mind. A sharp breath, and then he slowly released it.

“I’m sure Jack remembers me,” Hayden drawled.

“Actually, I don’t remember either of you,” Jack lied. He wiped his palms surreptitiously on his pants when Hayden raised an eyebrow. “It was nice seeing you again, though, Alexa. And thanks.” He shook the carton of cigarettes and smiled.

“No problem. You looked like you could really use them.” Alexa snapped her fingers. “Wait a fucking minute. Hold on one sec.”

Jack shifted uncomfortably as Alexa hurried to the car, reached in through the window, and pulled out a small plastic bag, amidst hisses of “Are you fucking crazy?” She tossed it to Jack, who caught it.

“What is this?”

“A little something to help you through the rest of the day. Take a nice trip and relax.” Alexa winked.

Swallowing hard, Jack stared at the bag. He should give it back. He was trying to stay away from drugs and alcohol in order to make a clean start with Kozmotis and Seraphina. But he pocketed it anyway and offered a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Anytime. We’ll be partying at the usual spot tomorrow night at ten. If you want to come,” she shrugged.

“I’ll think about it,” Jack said, backing away, eyes flicking over to see Hayden still watching him. He swallowed, tasting bile in the back of his throat. His skin crawled, and he had the sudden urge to take a shower and scrub his skin raw. Forcing himself to act natural, he waved as he climbed into his truck. “See ya around.”  
_____

_It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way._

That was Jack’s thought as he sat curled up in the corner of the shower, his face pressed against his knees, water from the shower spraying him. He hugged his legs tighter and curled his fingers into fists. He was so _stupid._ How could he have let this happen?

He really should have given the LSD back, but instead what had he done? Brought it home and taken it, hoping for a good trip to make everything disappear. Today was not his day, though, and the drug had taken him on a bad trip.

_You’re so stupid. Why do you always make a mess of everything?_

Jack clutched his head, fingers digging into his scalp, and whimpered. “Fuck.”

He sat there long enough for the hot water to run cold before the distant sound of the front door closing reached his ears, and he huddled back as far as he could. Kozmotis was home. Jack didn’t want Kozmotis to see him like this.

A ragged sob escaped as his shoulders shook silently. This was all _wrong._

He could hear Kozmotis coming up the steps and knew that in just a short while, he would be found, and everything would go to hell. Jack wasn’t even supposed to be home yet. Kozmotis would know that something was wrong, not to mention the text that Jack had sent about Sera previously…

“Fuck,” he whispered again. Kozmotis was going to be pissed, and Jack didn’t want to deal with that.

Kozmotis called his name, but Jack remained silent. Maybe he would give up if Jack didn’t reply, although he had to have seen Jack’s truck in the driveway. He listened to Kozmotis slowly making his way through the house and hoped that he would give up.

“Jack?” Kozmotis wandered into the bathroom, frowning. His gaze skipped over Jack - the frosted glass of the shower door helped with that - before it jerked back to him. “Jack, why are you in the shower with all of your clothes on?” He came over and opened the door. A surprised noise slipped past his lips as he felt the cold water spray onto his arms. The water shut off when he turned the handle. He knelt in front of Jack, ignoring the water seeping into the material of his pants. “Jack? What is going on?”

“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered, breath hitching. “God, I’m so sorry.”

Kozmotis sat back on his heels as he regarded his boyfriend. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I manage to fuck everything up.”

“Jack, no. Where would you get that idea?” Kozmotis’ brow furrowed.

“I told a customer to fuck off, Nikolai almost fired me and he probably will soon, and I couldn’t pay for my cigarettes because Sera took my money, and then I sent her and you nasty texts about it, but then I ran into Alexa and she gave me -”

“Who’s Alexa?” Kozmotis frowned.

“We partied together,” Jack admitted and silence fell for several minutes. Jack hoped Kozmotis would leave the issue alone.

“What happened then, Jack?”

So much for that. Jack sighed. “She gave me some LSD, and…”

“And what, Jack?” His voice was firm, but gentle.

“And you know.”

“Humor me. Pretend I don’t. I want you to say it, Jack. I want you to tell me what you did.”

“I took it, okay!” Jack yelled. “I made a bad decision, and I used it. And now you’re going to be pissed and throw me out, and -”

“Jack, why would I throw you out?”

“Because I’m not good. I mean, just look at me.” He gave a hollow laugh, the bitter sound echoing off the tile walls, as he gestured to his surroundings. “I’m a mess. I can’t do anything right. Soon enough you’re going to realize that I’m not worth the effort. Because I’m not.”

“Oh, Jack,” Kozmotis breathed, and Jack kept his gaze downcast. He didn’t want to see the truth, the pity, that he knew was going to be evident in Kozmotis’ eyes. Two hands suddenly gripped his arms. Jack braced himself for the inevitable ‘get-out-of-my-house’ speech, but was surprised when he was instead bundled up in a warm embrace.

“Wha-” Jack started to say, unsure of what Kozmotis was doing. Jack didn’t deserve this kind treatment. He didn’t deserve anything except being told that he wasn’t any good. Kozmotis pulled him to his feet, arms still tightly wrapped around him. Jack pressed his palms against Kozmotis’ broad shoulders, but Kozmotis refused to loosen his grasp. Wiggling around, he finally managed to free himself by accidentally kneeing Koz in the crotch, but in the process, he lost his balance and hit his head on the tile. “Shit.”

“Jack, are you all right?”

Jack blinked a few times to clear his blurry vision, whimpering when Kozmotis once more gathered him into his arms. “Why are you doing this?”

Kozmotis merely shushed him softly. His long fingers stroked through Jack’s hair, and Jack found himself relaxing into the touch despite his resolve not to. He slumped against Kozmotis, fingers clutching his damp shirt tightly. Kozmotis shifted so that he was sitting on the floor with Jack curled in his lap.

Hot tears pressed against Jack’s eyelids, but he refused to let them fall. He was not going to cry. But the tears came anyway, and Jack leaned against Kozmotis’ chest as he sobbed, heart-wrenching cries that stole the breath from his lungs. The whole time, Kozmotis was silent, stroking Jack’s hair in a comforting gesture.

When Jack was finally calm, Kozmotis helped him to his feet and led him to the bedroom. Jack was too numb to object, and he stood silently while he was stripped of his wet clothing, dried, and bundled into his pajamas before being pushed gently onto the bed. Kozmotis climbed in next to him and pulled the covers around them, spooning Jack against his back. A soft kiss was pressed to the back of Jack’s neck, and Jack squeezed his eyes shut. No matter what Kozmotis said, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t, not after everything he’d ever done.

With renewed effort, Jack struggled to slip from Kozmotis’ grasp, but the older man held firmly onto him until Jack just laid there, exhausted and near tears. “Just stop,” Jack said brokenly. “Just… Please.”

“No, I’m not going to stop. Do you know why, Jack?” Kozmotis paused for an answer, but Jack merely let out a choked sound and buried his face in the pillow. “Jack,” Kozmotis said a bit more forcefully, “do you know why I’m not letting you go?”

“No,” he said finally.

“Because you _are_ worth it. I want you in my life, whether you fuck things up, as you so eloquently put it, or not. Honestly, Jack, you are one of the best things to happen to me, and I don’t want to give you up. I’m sure you’ll make mistakes, but so will I. We’re only human, after all.”

Jack bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed. He could feel every breath Kozmotis took, the subtle rise and fall of his chest against his back. Kozmotis’ arm was draped over his waist, his hand trailing gently up and down Jack’s arm, while his other arm was resting under Jack’s head. Jack felt surrounded by him, somehow safe while caged in his arms.

“I come with a lot of baggage,” Jack warned. Vague memories of Hayden danced through his mind, but he forced them away with great effort.

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed,” he said wryly, earning a small chuckle from Jack. “Baggage or not, Jack, I stand by my earlier statement. I want you here with me, and nothing can change that.”

Closing his eyes, Jack drew in a shuddering breath. “I hope you mean that, because there are some things I’m really not proud of.”

“We all have those, Jack,” Kozmotis murmured into his ear. “I have regrets, as well. But there comes a time when we need to put them behind us in order to move forward in life. Let me help you put any demons from your past to rest, so you can be free of them.”

Freedom.

That word sounded so sweet to Jack’s ears. Could he really do that? Would he finally be able to push past everything that had happened to him? He could only hope.

Jack took a deep breath. “I think I’d like that,” he said shakily. “I would like that a lot.”

“Good. Now get some sleep. I’m sure you’re exhausted.” Kozmotis kissed his neck and smiled. “I’ll stay here with you.”

Jack nodded, not daring to speak lest he cry once more. He curled against Kozmotis closer, and within a few minutes, fell fast asleep.


End file.
